it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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