This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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