She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm gonna fight the coyote
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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