her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
