I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
