Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
