I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
accomplished twins. life is a go
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
