I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
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