I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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