he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
