I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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