I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
