Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
