ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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