I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
