none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I've blown a few things in my day
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
