Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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