he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
