Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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