So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
