i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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