I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
