Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Of course I have a pirate flag
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
