unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
