The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
