Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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