Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she pinky promised me she was 18
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
