I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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