i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
