dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
