Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
