I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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