I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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