pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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