I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
