I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
