He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
