oh god the rape fog is back!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
