Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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