i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
