There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
