Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
