it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
