this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
