Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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