PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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