its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
