Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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