I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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