I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
