mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We left the knife in your bed.
Your cock deserves a montage
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
