Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
