is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
