so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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