I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck me I smell like cheese
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
