can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
