she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
operation harelip BJ is a go
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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