that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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